Lost for words

Today I think many bloggers have felt the need to put pen to paper / finger to keyboard and speak out on the terrible tragedy last night in Manchester. I have read a few today, just feeling so unbelievably shocked and saddened about the whole thing. I am very new to the world of blogging but these kind of horrendous events are often exactly what gives you the sheer urge to blog - to get the mixed up, tangled feelings and emotions out of your head and down where you and others can see them, process them and attempt to make sense of it all. Sadly I'm not entirely sure it's even possible to make sense of any of this. Last night a 22 year old man took the lives of 22 people and injured 59 at a concert. A night where the only thing any of those people wanted was to see a singer they admired, to have fun with their friends, sing their hearts out and to kick back and enjoy themselves. All that was taken away. For what?

I've been to many concerts over the years, I have one booked for next month. I have never gone to any with a sense of worry or a sense of fear but after these kind of atrocities this is exactly what we end up with. Fear of visiting beautiful cities like Paris, London, New York. Fear of attending great concerts, fear of flying, even fear of lying on a beach on holiday.

But I guess that's the point isn't it? That's exactly what the evil perpetrators of these terrible atrocities want us to feel. I have read so many tweets, Instagram and Facebook posts today proclaiming "no, we will not be afraid" but we are. We all are.

I'm afraid of the kind of world my son is growing up in. What kind of threats will he and his friends experience in their lifetime? What kind of society his children will live in? The fear that grips us all at some point, the one that we become forgetful and complacent about after a few months of quiet on the news front but leaps back into the forefront of our consciousness whenever that "breaking news' logo that strikes fear into our hearts pops up on our TV screens or newsfeeds of social media.

I do believe though in finding the good in something. Amongst the utter horror of last night, the people of Manchester and the emergency services showed that no matter what, the majority of people in this world are fundamentally good, caring folk. The ones who looked after the young people out on their own who had become separated from friends or loved ones. The ones who were hurt, injured or downright petrified. Those people are heroes, total heroes who should be rightly proud of themselves.

I'm not writing this to make judgements, accusations or political statements, I would love to say I am writing this to achieve x, y and z. To banish these acts of sheer brutality, to eliminate that very real fear that we live with. But I'm not. I'm just a woman afraid for the future like so many, sending anyone reading this a virtual nod of "it'll be ok won't it?" and a look of solidarity. Manchester, I'm so sorry.